Case Study

“You are a department manager in a mid-sized company that provides technology support services. You have ten employees who are required to maintain a high level of technical expertise and deliver excellent customer service. One of your employees, who has been with the company for two years, is performing at a substandard level and you have received numerous complaints from customers and coworkers. In addition, this employee has displayed confrontational behavior which has created a hostile environment. You must now meet with this employee and deliver an ultimatum regarding the need for immediate improvement or dismissal.”

1.) As the department manager, I would first pull the employee aside. I would remind the employee of our company‘s goals and objectives either by reading them out loud or asking the employee to recite them back to me.

2.) I would then ask the employee if he or she agreed with the objectives and felt that they were living up to them. If the answer is “yes,” I would ask them to explain to me how, and if the answer is “no,” the same thing.

3.) I would then let them know that I have noticed lately that their performance has slacked a bit and that they’ve become a bit hostile towards the customers and other employees. I would ask what they were going through and let them know that I am interested in helping with the problem as much as I can.

4.) I would then offer help with retraining, or reassigning the employee to a different position, or whatever problem the employee stated for their behavior.

5.) I would then end by letting the employee know how good it is that they have been with the company for so long and that they are valued and appreciated and in the future, come to me if there’s a problem.

According to Cahn & Abigail (2007) you should follow these six steps for successful conflict resolution:

1. Preparation: Identify your problem/need/issues.
2. Tell the person “We need to talk.”
3. Interpersonal confrontation: Talk to the other person about your problem.
4. Consider the other person’s point of view: Listen, empathize, and respond with understanding.
5. Resolve the problem- Make a mutually satisfying agreement.
6. Follow up on the solution: Set a time limit for reevaluation.

These steps helps us reach a mutual collaboration on the problem. It also forces us to accept responsibility for our own actions. It also identifies the problems that each of has. According to Cahn & Abigail (2007) the final step, the re-evaluation is the most important, but often most forgotten, step to resolving a problem. This final step is important because it ensures a mutual agreement and re-examines the effectiveness of the agreement at a later date. In other words, it helps remind each party of the agreement in tact and it is a time to change what’s not working.

Also, according to Blanchard Ph.D & Lorber Ph. D., author and co-author of Putting the One Minute Manager to Work (1984) you should always end your reprimand, or confrontation with a praising. This way you are letting the other person know that they are not a bad person but their behavior is. I guess the underlying key here is “respect.” It all goes back to the old age adage “do unto others as you would want done to you.”

Now, it's your turn. Using this case study, what would you do to resolve a peaceful confortation with an employee?



References

Blanchard, K. Ph. D., & Lorber, R. Ph.D. (1984). Putting the One Minute Manager to

Work. NY: Berkley

Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2007). Managing Conflict Through Communication.

USA: Pearson Education

Chasing Love: Love chasers

  

hearts-kirsche222

                                                               

So, I was just thinking about how I believe I have already been fortunate enough to find "Mr. Right," but I let him go.  And, as I look around at all my friends who swear they are with their "Mr. and Mrs Rights," I can't help but note that it came with some pain and humiliation.

I remember being with friends on their journeys for their "Mr. Right."  I'd witnessed everything from the initial meetings to the first signs of love. I'd watch them become captivated by a lover then swear, he was the one.  In their efforts to prove their love to their mindless mate, I have been witness to many forms of their chasing, or the downright stalking of their prey. 

There were friends who just simply wouldn't give up on the one they swear was meant for them. Sometimes it even meant toughing out a broken heart, while waiting for their mate to tire of the "sexcapapade" world. And though I never doubted my friends feelings for their mates, I've always questioned their tactics. Until now, as I continue to miss, and regret the fact that I let my "once in a lifetime chance," get away.  Oh, and as for my friends who were relentless in their chasing, they're still with theirs.

So, all of this has me wondering, was I being too "proper" in letting my one and only go, standing firm on my morals, or Should I have resorted to the tactics of my friends?  What do you think?   When it comes to love how do you land your perfect mate?

Birthdays: What are They Good for?

  birthday cake-abrazee

I've just recently celebrated another birthday and another year.  Each year at birthday time, I can't help but to feel like a 16 year old girl, celebrating her "sweet 16th" birthday again!  I get all giddy and excited and plan all the makings of a great "sweet 16" slumber party.  I get the perfect, thin crust cheese pizza, the perfect cake or cupcakes, decorations, Cheetos, Twizzlers, my favorite childhood candy, my favorite pajamas, my teddy bear and my favorite teen/childhood movies! And, unlike my actual 16th birthday, the thing I have to look forward to are the alcholic drinks!

I usually have a lot of fun during my birthday, because for me, it's about acknowledging myself . I try to celebrate it by myself in order to do some personal soul searching and reconnect with who I am. I use my birthday as a way to celebrate me as an individual, my accomplishments, my goals, my growth and my life!  As I do this, I walk away feeling refreshed, empowered and like I've actually grown a bit younger!  So it got me to thinking, just what are birthdays really for anyway?  Are they just to remind us that we're a year older?   

Or, are birthdays for celebrating you, who you are? The "good" things about ourselves? How far we've come? What we do have and what we have to look forward to?  And the fact that we're still here?  Is it a personal gift to ourselves, sort of like a personal New Year's to mark our personal journeys?  We celebrate the passing of each new year with such joy, celebration and welcoming, are birthdays meant to be celebrated the same way?

All I know is that each year, like each day, offers a fresh start.  A way to take a personal account of our lives.  Are we headed in the right direction?  Are we doing what we said we wanted to do?  Are we taking advantage of our time here? Birthdays for me are about celebrating your life. For that one day, you are the celebrity or star of your world! 

So, on your next birthday, celebrate it to the fullest by letting your inner star or "sweet 16" year old out!

Different Modes of Communication

Media technologies are any electronic/digital or computer based aids used in intrapersonal communications. These technologies can be used for business purposes or social use. Some examples of media technologies include, broadband internet, web cams, online education, and laptop computers.


Broadband-The term broadband commonly refers to high-speed Internet access that is always on and faster than the traditional dial-up access (Federal Communication Commissions, n. d.).

This technology could be used for both business and social use. It would be used by any person or business who wishes to receive and send information data at quicker speeds or for faster and bigger uploads.

Web Cam-Tiny cameras connected to a computer that can be used for sending video e-mail, videoconferencing, chatting in real-time with other webcam users, specialty chat rooms or broadcasting your very own TV-like “channel” over the Net (Microsoft Home Magazine, 2008).

This technology could be used for online business conferences, or by friends and family who are worlds apart but wish to stay in touch. It can also be used for social networking and marketing, for example youtube.

Online Education-online learning (K12, 2010). Online learning is for the person who wishes to continue their learning in an often, more affordable and convenient online environment. With this method of learning, one has a broader option of schools across the country, that he or she could attend. Not to mention you can obtain your education at your own convenience.

This type of learning could be used for business professionals continuing their education, first time degree seekers or grade school learning.

Laptop Computers-for on-the-go computing. The laptop, like a personal computer, allows you the option of many different software applications and gadgets compatible with your technological needs.

The laptop computer can be used for both business and social needs. The laptop allows the business professional to still carry out business needs while traveling and the school student to socialize or complete homework while away from home or school.

Conclusion

This exercise has taught me a lot about the many different technology options we have available to us. I picked these four media technologies because I believe these are the media technologies that will help me most in my career.


References

Federal Communications Commissions (n. d.). What is Broadband? Retrieved February 21, 2011, from http://www.broadband.gov/about_broadband.html

K12. (2010). Online Public School. Retrieved February 21, 2011, from http://www.k12.com/

Microsoft Home Magazine (2008). Webcam Basics. Retrieved February 21, 2011, from http://www.microsoft.com/canada/home/communications-and- mobility/articles/webcam-basics-how-do-they-work.aspx

Writer's Retreat

Winter pictures-Mupsu

Okay so, I've been reading this book about how to become a more insightful writer.   In it, the author, Terry Cox (2000) teaches the "art" of being open to receiving our creative energy.  At the same time, I've been reading a book about finding your true passions and life's purpose, by Paul and Sarah Edwards (2003).  Terry Cox, stresses "Things often come when we aren't "officially" looking for them, but that we often miss it because we're not paying attention, or open to it," while Paul and Sarah Edwards (2003) stress "Ignoring the desire for this "magic" feeling is what gets us into dull, mundane, and intolerable lives.  Heeding it is what takes us to places better than we dreamed of.  It's the natural high of life that leaves us fulfilled-so full in fact that we're flowing with energy and want to reach out and give it to others." Acknowledging this  power is what allows artists to fully express themselves in their work.

To clear our minds and help recognize the passions and ideas that come to us, Terry Cox suggests a few soul searching exercises which I have shortened for the purpose of time constraints.   This is a really great exercise!  It worked for me, so I  thought I'd share it with you!

This exercise is for the writer and non writer alike. Look at it as a special treat for yourself.  To set the mood, I suggest you set aside some free-time, about an hour, get your most comfortable robe or pajamas on, grab your tablet and pen, your glass of wine, cup of coffee or tea, your buttery popcorn or favorite snack and curl up in your cozy spot and enjoy yourself with this life enriching, fun exercise! You'll be amazed at how much you discover about yourself!

Exercise 1

Spend some time with yourself.  Ask yourself "What do I love?"  Listen for your answers, and as you hear them, write them down.  Notice how your list, grows, changes then goes back to where you began.

Exercise 2

Now in a separate column, change your question to "What would I do if I could do anything I wanted?"  Don't limit yourself to what you think possible or what your responsibilities are or what the world "out there" will let you do.

Exercise 3

Narrow your lists down to the things, people, places and ideas that you love most. These are the things you're most passionate about.  According to Paul and Sarah Edwards (2003) identifying these passions will reveal a lot about yourself.  It will also help determine your strengths and weaknesses and help you in locating your gifts, talents and career path.

Completing these short exercises should leave you with a new sense of well being.  You should feel renewed and energized with a new purpose and outlook on yourself and life. You're worth it!



References

Cox, T. (2010). You Can Write Song Lyrics. OH: Writers Digest Books
Edwards, P. S. (2003). Finding Your Perfect Work: The New Career Guide to Making a Living, Creating a Life. NY: Penguin Putnam Inc.

Despicable

 

Irma wants some...GinnyLynni

Despicable: Deserving to be despised (Merriam-Webster).
Despised: 1. To look down on with contempt or aversion: DISDAIN, DETEST 2. To regard as negligible, worthless, or distasteful (Merriam-Webster).

How is it that in just one year of your life, from age 29-30, (or if you’re one who believes that your thirties are still your youth, from age 39-40), you can suddenly go from young and attractive to old and despised? You’ve spent all your life building up your character and finding yourself, in order to be the best you, you can and live the best life you can, only to have it all go to waste at society’s whelm of "old".

How come the cellulite of your youth, makes you look like a budding porn star or stripper when you're younger, but suddenly turns to disdain as you age? How come the balding or receding hairline of a baby makes him or her so cute and adorable, but turns to disdain as you age? How can the wrinkly, soft skin of a baby or a pug dog be looked at as cute and adorable but turn to disdain in the elderly? How come we praise the under eye dark circles and sunken eyes in young runway models, calling it distinguished or sheik, but despise it in older people? How come the dependence of a baby that is so cherished, welcomed and adored turns to disdain in your elder years?

How come an aging car, makes it a prize to the owner but is disdained in humans? How can aging wine, be the prize of a wine coinsure but be disdained in humans? How can an aging piece of art become so valuable to a collector but is disdained in humans? How come an aging monument or work of art, bring tourists from all over the world, but be disdained in humans? People wait hundreds of years for things to age in order to become more valuable, but disdain aging in humans.

It seems that we can look at aging in everything else as a gift or investment; as innocent or pure, as in nature and babies, however, when it comes to human life, we despise it, we mock it, and we shun it. Is it because our outlook on human life is so perverted, that it's only about sex? Why is it that we only value human life as long as it retains it’s youth and sex appeal? How can “old” be defined anyway? How come people say that “you can’t put a price on a life“ or “you can’t put a price on something rare or unique” yet we still continue to try put a price on "good"? After all, don’t we just get “better” with time? Haven’t some people even been able to maintain their beauty, fertility, sex appeal, youth and vigor, well into their mature years?

Isn’t “old” just a state of mind, just as acting “black” or acting “white” is just a state of mind? Isn’t “youth“ just the love and enjoyment of life? When a younger male or female has fertility problems, do we call them “old?” When a younger male or female has sexual incapacities, do we call them “old?’ When a younger male or female has gray hair, do we call them “old?” and when a younger male or female dies before us, do we call them “old?’ Isn’t is a fact that life is life, no matter the age, and that each us deserve respect for who we are and who we aspire to be?

I hope this reflection leaves all of us appreciating human life a bit more and serves to break down the barriers of ageism. Now run and hug the mature and elderly people in your life and let them know they are respected!

Thank you,

Venus



Reference:

Merriam, Webster. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary. USA: Merriam-Webster Inc.

"Hey Friend," or Projection Board?

Warriors of Chess-Sexy Mama

Okay so, I ran into an old friend the other day, and we went through the regular ritual of chatting about the past then exchanging phone numbers. Everything seemed to go well, so after a few days of being busy, I had a free day so I decided to call and play “catch up” with my old buddy.

Upon the first words or thoughts of our conversation, I couldn’t help but feel like I was at a high school reunion. You know the kind where the “loser,” or not so popular guy or gal in school has returned only to prove to their former classmates and bullies how successful they are now? Or what about the already popular people whose only purpose for showing up to show their former classmates that they’re even more popular or successful than before?

I guess that’s why I skipped my high school reunion. It’s never about the “good ol memories,” or lessons learned, it’s always about proving your success. And, what is success anyway? Nowadays everyone seems to bring up success in terms of money, big houses, fancy cars, marriage, family and prestigious career. But isn’t success following your dreams? Isn’t success making money to do what you love? Isn’t success being married to the “right” partner and starting a family? Isn’t success raising moral children? Isn’t success having the “right” house and the perfect car for you? It is to me, anyway. Real success can’t be measured by what you see, it’s the story behind those things that measures true success so why do people continue to use those things to show how successful they are?

All this got me to thinking, we couldn’t wait to get out of high school in order to move on. So, why does life still feel like one big ol high school? Once out of high school, why do people continue to feel a need to constantly prove themselves? After high school, why do people feel the need to still fit in? After high school, why do people still bully other people? After high school, why do people still feel a need to “measure up?” And after high school, why can’t run ins with old friends still feel like the good ol bonding days of high school?

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Valentine's3-ba1969

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I began my “love day” by reaching into a box of heart shaped, conversation candies, and pulling out two. One of them read “Magic” and the other read “Believe.” Quite naturally, the heart candies, along with my broken heart, got me thinking about love and what it really is. Is it the “magic” chemistry between two people, or the “belief” in love that two people share, that magically makes it work? I had originally planned to spend the day in bed, wining and dining myself as I sat and watched love stories and cried my heart out. However; my thoughts on the candy hearts and my confusion about love soon changed my mind. Instead, in honor of this great romantic tradition, and to help myself heal from the pangs of love and despair, I decided to research what love is in hopes that it would help me get to the bottom of the meaning behind my feelings of love.

I’m sure we’ve all felt it, or heard of someone who has. You meet a member of the opposite sex, or the same sex, and you’re immediately attracted to them but you can’t explain why. Or, after a long, first encounter, you decide to kiss your date goodnight, only to be immediately hooked. That’s right, as the song goes, “It was in their kiss.“ In both instances, you walk away from this person, on a natural high, running to inform your friends that you’ve found “magic!” If you’ve ever felt this way, you’ve no doubt ably, felt the pain, frustration and confusion involved with being so magnetically drawn to another person but not understanding why. It can wreak havoc on your social life and even turn your world upside down. But is this love?

According to Sheril Kirshenbaum, a research scientist at the University of Texas and the author of the new book "The Science of Kissing" (2010) “a good kiss can work like a drug, influencing the hormones and neurotransmitters coursing through our bodies. It can send two people on a natural high by stimulating pleasure centers in the brain. The feeling has much to do with a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which is responsible for craving and desire and associated with "falling in love."… Kissing also promotes the "love hormone," oxytocin, which works to maintain a special connection between two people; kissing can keep love alive when a relationship has survived decades, long after novelty has waned. In other words, kissing influences the uptake of hormones and neurotransmitters beyond our conscious control, and these signals play a huge part in how we feel about each other.” So the “magic” that we feel in this type of “love” is actually based on chemical or hormonal attraction, also known as pheromones.

Robert A. Johnson, noted lecturer, analyst, Jungian interpreter and author of “We” (1983), defines love as “the power within us that affirms and values another human being as he or she is. Human love affirms that person who is actually there, rather than the ideal we would like him or her to be or the projection that flows from our minds. Love is the inner god who opens our blind eyes to beauty, value and quality of the other person. Love causes us to value that person as a total individual self, and means that we accept the negative side as well as the positive, the imperfections as well as the admirable qualities.” So in this sense, love is blind and unconditional. But can this type of love stem from a “chemical attraction?”

After reading and pondering on both interpretations of “love” I believe that love can encompass both. It can begin as an initial “chemical” attraction but end with a mutual belief in love, and each other. I believe that real love is magical, in that it encompasses the power of two people believing together, and that mutual love can manifest anything this couple puts their minds to. Love is also magical in that it is willing to, or sometimes forces you, to overlook the imperfections of your mate. When this happens love becomes magical in that it can break down all barriers and create a place of “pure, “ “innocent,“ and unconditional love. What better ending to a fairytale than that? "With one sprinkle of her magic fairy dust (love) the fairy was able to transform the world!"

References:

Johnson, R. A. (1983). We: Understanding the psychology of romantic love. NY: HarperCollins

Kirshenbaum, S. (2010). A kiss to build a year on - if your brain's chemistry agrees. [Electronic Version]. The Washington Post. Retrieved February 14, 2011, from http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp- dyn/content/article/2010/12/23/AR2010122302203.html

Ciao Bella! (Hello Beautiful, in Italian)

   

celebration-a glitch

                                                                   
Hello all. I'd like to welcome you to my writing corner! This is a place for sharing ideas and personal reflections, where hopefully, we can learn and grow together! I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you.

Thank you,

Venus